The lady and the tramp
It was a cold evening in the Kings Cross area (London, U.K.). This was before the entire revamp of the area ... when it was still prostitute/drug central. I was doing nights in a 3 star hotel, and it was time to do my patrol. This particular property had a car park. When I went there, I was hearing a lot of rumbling noises. I was like WTF!!! I must admit, I was shitting my pants ... the last thing I wanted was to get mugged by some junkie at 3 in the morning. I quickly went back to reception to see if anyone would come out with me, but to my surprise (*not*), those lazy cunts were more scared than I was. Being a "manager" had its perks, but this definitely was not one of them. So, I strapped on some balls and went to see what the hell was making that noise. I ensured my deck phone and flashlight had enough battery and off to the bloody cold.
I could not really tell where the noise was coming from as it was quite muffled. Checking the cars to see if anyone had broken into one of them, or maybe we had a drunk guest sleeping in his car or who knows ..... maybe worse. After checking all the cars ... nada .... zilch .... nuttin ... fuck all. I decided to go back into the hotel as probably it was a rat, a fox, or something ... yes we have plenty in London. As I was walking away I could have sworn I could hear moaning. I turned around and walked towards the dumpster ... and ... VOI-thefucking-LA! As I opened the lid, there were two homeless people in it. The "lady" was giving head to the hobo. I started screaming at them and asking what the fuck they were doing. They needed to leave immediately or I would call the police. The man pulled up his trousers (for lack of a better word) and as I were leaving, the lady tells the man if she was still going to get her £5 for the blowjob. The man told her "No bitch, you didn't finish the job so fuck off".
I didn't know if I should laugh or cry .... as I was still in awe for what I had just seen. The lady, was known in the neighbourhood as "Toothless Sally", so I don't think I really need to go into more detail on how disgusted I was to see her in action. After that day, I would still see them around the area, but they probably couldn't remember what had happened as they were most of the time drugged or drunk, or just simply didn't give a fuck. To my despair, 14 years onward, I still remember that dreadful day ... funny as fuck now, but not in the moment.